William Rufus II, third son of William the Conqueror, ascended to the throne of England today with coronation pomp and ceremony. Expectations are running high that the door of European refinement opened by William I will remain open under William II. The British Isles are eager to accelerate cultural advancement after decades of isolationism.¹
William II had earlier proposed setting in motion a program aimed at fostering literacy. With the able cooperation and counsel of Archbishop Lanfranc of Canterbury, a first draft of the royal decree has been circulated. At the heart of this decree is the dual purpose of providing judicial relief for condemned prisoners and advancing literacy by familiarization with the Latin Vulgate.²
The proposed decree states, "A person subject to the death penalty can appeal for Benefit of Clergy." Benefit of Clergy is the legal appeal to an official representative of the Archbishop of Canterbury for commutation of the death penalty. Under the statute, the clerical representative (one assigned to each of England's prisons) is to stipulate a particular passage of Scripture to be read aloud by the accused. A prisoner showing his ability to read scripture can save his neck -- literally, not figuratively!
If the prisoner appeals to the "Neck-verse" before the courts, the magistrate is free to open the Bible at random for the test. If the appeal is before the church's representative, the stipulated verses would most likely come from the 51st Psalm. 3
At London's Newgate prison the first condemned man appealed to the cleric of Newgate today. This will prove an excellent test for King William's Civil Literacy decree. At press time it has been learned that the prisoner will be required to read Psalm 51:1: "Misere mei, Deus, secundum magnam misericordiam tuam; et secundum multitudinem misetationum tuarum, dele iniquitatem meam."⁴ According the decree, if the ecclesiastical official pronounces "Legit ut clericus" (He reads like a clerk), the prisoner will have saved his own neck. His hand will then be branded as punishment. But, if the condemned bungles his "Neck-verse," he will be executed on schedule.
The king's literacy campaign hasn't escaped criticism. Some unknown hack poet summed up the root of cynicism in crude verse:

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